Did you ever stop and ponder the connection between relativity and performance review. We found a pretty funny performance review for Albert Einstein to show how ridiculous performance reviews can be.
I especially liked this line:
Regrettably, I had to put you down as “poor” for “works well with others” and “shares credit appropriately.” You had no co-authors on your five papers, and your citations were quite skimpy: no citations at all in your June and September paper, only one citation in your April paper, and not much better on the others. You wrote that your special theory of relativity came to you after a discussion with your friend Michele Besso. But you didn’t even acknowledge him in your June paper. This is an area for improvement.